Films That Could Be Improved By Invading Cuba #2: Grease

Finally, Sandy Ollson gives in and decides to become the complete slut that Danny Zuko always wanted her to be and via the medium of song they complete their courtship on a variety of carny rides. But, the good times ain't gonna last. Not by a long fucking shot. Kenickie, Doody and Spacker pull Zuko to one side and drop one hell of a bombshell. Betty Rizzo, Zuko’s ex, has been taken hostage and taken to a remote mansion.....in CUBA. Zuko reacts badly. VERY BADLY. He immediately starts getting his weapons together along with a fuck-off atom bomb with a payload that will teach those commie shitheads not to fuck with the T-Birds. Sandy notices Danny attaching an M134 mini-gun, capable of firing 4000 rounds per minute, to the bonnet of Grease Lightning and goes to find out what's going on.

Sandy: "Danny, what's wrong honey?"

Danny: "Its Rizzo baby. Those red motherfucker cigar smoking communist sacks of shit have finally taken her. I have to get her back. Alone."

Sandy: "NO! We go together.....like rama lama lama ke ding a de dinga a dong."

Danny: "I dunno baby. It's gonna get pretty hairy, like....shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yipitty boom de boom,"

Sandy: "Fuck that. I'm wearing skin tight lycra, sporting the mother of all camel toes and I need to get into the suck. Lets Roll."

And with that, Zuko smiles and hands Sandy an Ingram M11 9mm Uzi and they jump in the now flyable Grease Lightning with the bomb in the back seat. As they take to the skies with all weapons cocked, loaded and ready to blow shit up, they are waved good luck by all the High School mooks and its MISSION ON! As they enter Cuban airspace, ready to drop that mother of a payload, they hit the stereo and 'Summer Nights' starts to blare out. Sandy turns to Danny and realises that his hair doesn’t look like an entire football team had wanked all over it for a change and mentions it to him.

Danny: "Shit. We need grease..........lots of grease."