Mystic Review Pizza: Rush Hour 3
Alrriiiiiiight, you faaaackin' muppets! It's Mystic Review Pizza back again wiv more reviews of fillums wot ain' even farking come out yet! Some dirty cants have aksed me why I don' use my powas fir the sake of goodness ravver than just reviewing some fackin' fillum wot ain' even farking come out yet an' I say to these dirty cants, "FARK OFF WIV YOURSELF, DIRTY CANT!" I like fillums, I sometimes even like fillums wot ain' got Danny Dyer in 'em. For instance, I farkin' love fillums wiv Bob Hoskins in 'em. I also proper love fillums wiv that diamond geezer Ray Winstone in 'em. You seen NIL BY MOUTH? That's a proppa fillum! Why the fack would I be wantin' to look at anything fackin' else? Wars? FAAAARK IT. The Lottery? FAAARK IT. The winner of Big Brother? Hmm... Interesting...
Anyway, the faaaarkin' caaaants wot run this interweb site slipped me a pony to see into the faaarkin' future and tell 'em wot the four by four (I.e. score) is wiv dis new fillum about these two ethnic cants wiv badges. I ain't seen any fillums wiv ethnics in before unless you count Ben Kingsley - what with him 'avin' played farkin' Gandhi! I ain' got no problem with ethnics bein' on the screen unless they're makin' me larf. I love a good larf! An' this fillum made me larf like a farkin' Virgin train (I.e. drain)! That black geezer was all singin', "Kung fu fighting" and doin' a right ol' jig. Wot a geezer! An' when he puts on that funny voice thing, he right ol' split me anchovies! Geezer don' talk like dat all the time, though, right?
Anyway, this fillum gets a farkin' four slices out of five from yer ol' mucker, da Mystic Review Pizza, wot wiv it bein' a right old knee's up from start to finish! I mean, the only way I'd 'ave liked it more if the farking duke, Danny Dyer, were in it. Couldn't they got rid of the little Chinee fella and let the farking duke have a shot? I mean, he's double-plus hard an' don' take shit from no gangsta pricks. I laaaarves me a bit of cockney 'ard man action. I would tell you to drag yourself out to the masonry bricks (I.e. flicks) and catch vis littuhl numba as soon as it cams out. An' trust me, you'll farkin' love it, cos I've seen the farkin' future and I KNOW you farkin' love it! Until next time, I'm Mystic Review Pizza and I can see into da farkin' future!!!
DASGEORDIE'S NOTE - We at Two Angry Men do not agree or abide by any decisions as per the quality of a given film based on the review of a pizza that can see into the future. In fact, we think the twat is pulling our leg and has no mystic powers At All.
Anyway, the faaaarkin' caaaants wot run this interweb site slipped me a pony to see into the faaarkin' future and tell 'em wot the four by four (I.e. score) is wiv dis new fillum about these two ethnic cants wiv badges. I ain't seen any fillums wiv ethnics in before unless you count Ben Kingsley - what with him 'avin' played farkin' Gandhi! I ain' got no problem with ethnics bein' on the screen unless they're makin' me larf. I love a good larf! An' this fillum made me larf like a farkin' Virgin train (I.e. drain)! That black geezer was all singin', "Kung fu fighting" and doin' a right ol' jig. Wot a geezer! An' when he puts on that funny voice thing, he right ol' split me anchovies! Geezer don' talk like dat all the time, though, right?
Anyway, this fillum gets a farkin' four slices out of five from yer ol' mucker, da Mystic Review Pizza, wot wiv it bein' a right old knee's up from start to finish! I mean, the only way I'd 'ave liked it more if the farking duke, Danny Dyer, were in it. Couldn't they got rid of the little Chinee fella and let the farking duke have a shot? I mean, he's double-plus hard an' don' take shit from no gangsta pricks. I laaaarves me a bit of cockney 'ard man action. I would tell you to drag yourself out to the masonry bricks (I.e. flicks) and catch vis littuhl numba as soon as it cams out. An' trust me, you'll farkin' love it, cos I've seen the farkin' future and I KNOW you farkin' love it! Until next time, I'm Mystic Review Pizza and I can see into da farkin' future!!!
DASGEORDIE'S NOTE - We at Two Angry Men do not agree or abide by any decisions as per the quality of a given film based on the review of a pizza that can see into the future. In fact, we think the twat is pulling our leg and has no mystic powers At All.
Labels: Mystic Review Pizza, review, The Farkin Duke
|
<< Home