Mystic Review Pizza's 'Arry Potta and The Deafly 'Allows Review
Ello cahnts. Mystic ere wiv a fackin exclusive for all you stupid facking Arry Potta fans. I've spent the entire facking day looking waaaayy into the farkin future and I managed to see the seventh Arry Potta film. Not bad eh? The cahnt hasn't even been made yet. Straight up. I fink the book comes aht on Saturday but I thought I would fackin ruin it for ya anyway.
Nah, I fackin hate 'Arry fackin Potta and I've only seen abaht three of the films but let me tell you this last film is the fackin nuts. Why? Potta kicks the fackin bucket abaht arf way through. Ha! Facking sweet as. Did that spoil it for ya? Did it? Good! Ya fackin weirdo cahnts. I don't even like kids that like Potta let alone all the fackin wanky older cahnts that say shit like "Oh, but the books are so well written" and "It's ok for adults to like these books"
NO IT FACKIN AINT! GROW UP THE FACK UP! PROPER CAHNTS YOU ARE!
Oh yeah, the film. Like I said, the cahnt dies and that. Did that spoil it for ya? Some lary facker called Voldecahnt does him right in. Facking knocks the little prick right on his arse. Straight up! I didn't pay too much attention to the fackin plot as it was all abaht wizards and that. It didn't even ave Danny Dyer in it innit. Fackin shit that mush. Dyer would ave made a pucker Potta.
"Oi! Voldercahnt! Fack orf. BALD CAHNT! Fackin geezer's a cahnt mush
Now that's fackin mint.
I mean, as if Potta wasn't a big enough cahnt as it was, he ang's rahnd wiva fackin ginger. Wankaaaaa! And, he hasn't even managed to get a fack off that Hermiominge. I reckon the cahnts a fackin shit stabber meself like. Anyway, I can't be hanging rahnd ere all fackin night, I've got a Danny Dyer film to watch. It's called UP THE OLD APPLES AND PEARS. Fackin sweet as. Straight up mush! No word of a lie.
Till next time, keep aht of trouble and don't be a cahnt.
Kazzam!
Nah, I fackin hate 'Arry fackin Potta and I've only seen abaht three of the films but let me tell you this last film is the fackin nuts. Why? Potta kicks the fackin bucket abaht arf way through. Ha! Facking sweet as. Did that spoil it for ya? Did it? Good! Ya fackin weirdo cahnts. I don't even like kids that like Potta let alone all the fackin wanky older cahnts that say shit like "Oh, but the books are so well written" and "It's ok for adults to like these books"
NO IT FACKIN AINT! GROW UP THE FACK UP! PROPER CAHNTS YOU ARE!
Oh yeah, the film. Like I said, the cahnt dies and that. Did that spoil it for ya? Some lary facker called Voldecahnt does him right in. Facking knocks the little prick right on his arse. Straight up! I didn't pay too much attention to the fackin plot as it was all abaht wizards and that. It didn't even ave Danny Dyer in it innit. Fackin shit that mush. Dyer would ave made a pucker Potta.
"Oi! Voldercahnt! Fack orf. BALD CAHNT! Fackin geezer's a cahnt mush
Now that's fackin mint.
I mean, as if Potta wasn't a big enough cahnt as it was, he ang's rahnd wiva fackin ginger. Wankaaaaa! And, he hasn't even managed to get a fack off that Hermiominge. I reckon the cahnts a fackin shit stabber meself like. Anyway, I can't be hanging rahnd ere all fackin night, I've got a Danny Dyer film to watch. It's called UP THE OLD APPLES AND PEARS. Fackin sweet as. Straight up mush! No word of a lie.
Till next time, keep aht of trouble and don't be a cahnt.
Kazzam!
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