Can You Help?

Can you give a small amount to those more needy than yourself?

Are you willing to make a small donation to make the world a better place?

Do you mind offering a small pittance to two people who are very deserving?

If so, you've come to the right place - you see, we at the Two Angry Men Charity Foundation (Awaiting charitable registration number) desperately need to raise more than $13,400 before the close of play tomorrow evening. I know you've probably received a dozen or more spam emails of this ilk today, a pile at least of flyers through your front door too. But this is a serious problem and we need your help.



Because this man is auctioning off a dinner with himself on eBay. The man? Brett Ratner. And we need your small donation to win this auction and join this man for dinner. And REPEATEDLY DONKEY-PUNCH HIM IN THE KIDNEYS UNTIL THEY RUPTURE. Yes, if you can make it possible that Crabman and I could make it through security unharmed and meet Mr Ratner himself, we will guarantee to FUCKSTART HIS HEAD WITH RUSTY DILDOS WHILST SHITBANGING HIS COLON. What more deserving charity is there? Can you name one? I can't name one.

Click on the picture above to see the plight we now face. Neither of us can afford this ungodly sum for ourselves. We need your help. If you think you can help, please contact us via email and we will happily take your money. If we don't raise enough money by the close of bidding, don't worry about refunds. You will never see your money again.

Please, do something for the greater good just this once. Your small cash amount can make the cinema a safe place to visit once more.

Thank you,