Two Angry Men

Coo-ee!

I'm not gay you know. It's a common misconception these days that I would rather have sex with men than females. This, of course, is absolute balderdash. I think females are great and I would, in no way, rather have a hot stiff one up my gary of an evening. To make sure that all my fans realise just how manly I am I spoke to my good friend John Hannah who said the best way to get people to think that you're straight is to release your own video game. And here it is. KEVIN SPACEY INVADERS!

It took a team of one person to code this beast of a game over a period of a day with my supervision. I based it on a classic but to be honest I really wanted the bunkers and the little ship at the bottom to be brown but we only had two colours to work with. If the game got a little hard you would just have to squeeze your big rocket between the brown bunkers and wait patiently until you feel like shooting all over my face. I like brown. The game will be in the shops ready for Christmas - my favourite time of the year. I genuinely can't wait for all you 16-32 year old men to get ahold of KEVIN SPACEY INVADERS, take it home, lock yourselves in your bedrooms and start bashing your joysticks furiously while you shoot all over my face. You can even whack it on your hard drive. Or your floppy! There is even going to be a Wii version where you strapping young boys can whack me off all over the room. See, not gay at all!

So, do me a favour, any young men reading this, and make sure that you purchase KEVIN SPACEY INVADERS so that you can invite me into your bedroom for a night of furious, sweaty, manly, hard-as-a-rock joystick bashing. Please be aware though, to gain maximum points, you have to shoot all over my face. A lot.

Tatty Bye!

Detectiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!