Two Angry Men Casting Couch: Justice League
AQUAMAN
Arthur Curry, half human, half fishman, all shit. His amazing abilities include being able to swim, but reeeeeelly fast. He can also talk to fish. "Hello my fishy brethren, I am seeking the hidden lair of Black Manta. Can you help me?" "Swim, shit, swim, shit, eeek! Human! Human! Swim away! (Shit!) Swim away!" "Come back! Come back, you fucking useless animal!" He is also King of the underwater city of Atlantis - a city so shit we let it sink into the ocean. And who else could play such a legendary character than...
Yes, Ross Kemp! Star of EASTENDERS, EXTRAS and the televisual epic that is ULTIMATE FORCE. I have the box-set. Every series. Seriously. If you're American and don't know who Ross Kemp is, he's the alleged hardman that is scared shitless of Vinnie Jones in the first series of EXTRAS. Also better known for being faux hardman PhilGrant Mitchell in long-running depress-a-thon soap-suicide-pra EASTENDERS. As one of UK TV's most well-known crap scary thugs, he obviously would be excellent to play little-known crap scary superhero Aquaman.
As well as carrying on the tradition that Jason LEGEND Statham and Vinnie CUNT Jones started off of English faux-gangsters playing shitty second-rate roles to crap American actors, Ross could also bring a certain amount of gravitas to the role of a king. As The Guv'nor of The Queen Vic pub, he has experience of keeping a rowdy bunch of perma-drinkers. Plus, if anyone could stand up to Batman, it's faaarkin' Ross Kemp! "Oi, Batman! NOOOO! You might think you're the fucking daddy of loomin' on gargoyles and talking like farkin' Pat Butcher, but the farkin' seven seas are my manor, mush!" And if Jessica Biel turns down the Wonder Woman role, then they could always ask Barbara Windsor.
TOMORROW - GREEN LANTERN!
Arthur Curry, half human, half fishman, all shit. His amazing abilities include being able to swim, but reeeeeelly fast. He can also talk to fish. "Hello my fishy brethren, I am seeking the hidden lair of Black Manta. Can you help me?" "Swim, shit, swim, shit, eeek! Human! Human! Swim away! (Shit!) Swim away!" "Come back! Come back, you fucking useless animal!" He is also King of the underwater city of Atlantis - a city so shit we let it sink into the ocean. And who else could play such a legendary character than...
Yes, Ross Kemp! Star of EASTENDERS, EXTRAS and the televisual epic that is ULTIMATE FORCE. I have the box-set. Every series. Seriously. If you're American and don't know who Ross Kemp is, he's the alleged hardman that is scared shitless of Vinnie Jones in the first series of EXTRAS. Also better known for being faux hardman PhilGrant Mitchell in long-running depress-a-thon soap-suicide-pra EASTENDERS. As one of UK TV's most well-known crap scary thugs, he obviously would be excellent to play little-known crap scary superhero Aquaman.
As well as carrying on the tradition that Jason LEGEND Statham and Vinnie CUNT Jones started off of English faux-gangsters playing shitty second-rate roles to crap American actors, Ross could also bring a certain amount of gravitas to the role of a king. As The Guv'nor of The Queen Vic pub, he has experience of keeping a rowdy bunch of perma-drinkers. Plus, if anyone could stand up to Batman, it's faaarkin' Ross Kemp! "Oi, Batman! NOOOO! You might think you're the fucking daddy of loomin' on gargoyles and talking like farkin' Pat Butcher, but the farkin' seven seas are my manor, mush!" And if Jessica Biel turns down the Wonder Woman role, then they could always ask Barbara Windsor.
TOMORROW - GREEN LANTERN!
Labels: Casting Couch, Justice League
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