Two Angry Men Casting Couch: Justice League #2
Green Lantern - like a jedi, but with a gay-ass ring on and an even more camp lime green body-costume. There have been many Green Lanterns - Alan Scott, Hal Jordan, Jon Stewart, Guy Gardner, Simon, Garfunkel, Hall, Oates and Kyle Raynor. The most popular being the UTTERLY shit-house Hal Jordan, a pilot who flies planes and killed a lot of people one time by accident. They fly around the galaxy sorting out problems and answering to funny little blue men in dresses. SHIIIIIT-house. He only justifies his place in the Justice League a little more than Aquaman because he is armed with the most powerful weapon in the universe. And they made it into a ring? Couldn't they make it into a manly-looking belt or even a lovely man-bag? A RING, THOUGH?
Anyway, who better to play Green Lantern than Ralf Little, star of THE ROYLE FAMILY and TWO PINTS OF LAGER AND A PACKET OF CRISPS, PLEASE? For those of you reading in America, just imagine I (very poorly) photoshopped a picture of that cunt Topher Grace instead. Ralf Little has all the gravitas that you would need to bring to the role of a intergalactic police-officer with amazing powers. I mean, if they'd let that cunt Hayden Christensen play one, they'll let any fucker play one!
Anyway, Green Lantern's role in any Justice League film will be largely to stand in the background and find a personality. He will never find this personality as his personality solely consists of being an intergalactic policeman with a power ring... Shit, sorry, that's his origin, not his personality. BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE ONE. In fact, I'd be shocked if they even included him, so shit is the character. Did you know they wanted to make a movie based on him and they only way they could do that was to play it as a comedy and get Jack Black in. So what better way to do Jack Black on the cheap than get some crap "comedy" actor from some UTTERLY TERRIBLE UK comedy show. He can take the piss out of everybody - and when your team consists of people like Aquaman and >snigger< Martian Manhunter, you've got plenty of opportunity.
Anyway, who better to play Green Lantern than Ralf Little, star of THE ROYLE FAMILY and TWO PINTS OF LAGER AND A PACKET OF CRISPS, PLEASE? For those of you reading in America, just imagine I (very poorly) photoshopped a picture of that cunt Topher Grace instead. Ralf Little has all the gravitas that you would need to bring to the role of a intergalactic police-officer with amazing powers. I mean, if they'd let that cunt Hayden Christensen play one, they'll let any fucker play one!
Anyway, Green Lantern's role in any Justice League film will be largely to stand in the background and find a personality. He will never find this personality as his personality solely consists of being an intergalactic policeman with a power ring... Shit, sorry, that's his origin, not his personality. BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE ONE. In fact, I'd be shocked if they even included him, so shit is the character. Did you know they wanted to make a movie based on him and they only way they could do that was to play it as a comedy and get Jack Black in. So what better way to do Jack Black on the cheap than get some crap "comedy" actor from some UTTERLY TERRIBLE UK comedy show. He can take the piss out of everybody - and when your team consists of people like Aquaman and >snigger< Martian Manhunter, you've got plenty of opportunity.
Labels: Casting Couch, Justice League
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