Two Angry Men

And before you say anything the picture below is not me and I am not a big, fat, ginger, sell out motherfucker. OK, I am a bit fat. No, the person in the picture is Harry Knowles, the founder of Aint it Cool news. That site has been going for years and there was a time when fat arse used to write impartial and honest reviews of upcoming films. However, since he has become somewhat of a celebrity in Hollywood he has turned into a right cunt. I mean, just look at the bulbous bastard.

You see, the studios started to worry about any bad reviews that this tosser would put on his site so they started inviting him to film sets, asked him to attend private screenings, fed him roast pig every hour and let him rub shoulders with A-list actors and directors all the while paying for his flights and accommodation. They basically sucked up to him to try and get him to say something nice about their movie. He is apparently good friends with Stallone, Bruce Willis and Peter Jackson. Why? Fuck knows. What I do know is that Knowles likes just about every major film that is released these days because he either knows someone at the studio or he gets sucked off by Bruce Willis every other weekend. Am I being cynical? Probably. But I genuinely believe that his site is no longer the domain of the masses and free thinking but a Hollywood wank-fest and back-slapping monstrosity. He's a massive (literally) CUNT and I hate the prick. Don't believe me? Well, he liked Spider-Man 3 and Fanstastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer which were both wank. Plain to see I think you'll agree.

Also, he has apparently just found a bride to be. Or should I say a mail order oriental bride who is either mental or she was so desperate to get into the US and out of the shit-hole she used to live in that she doesn't mind fucking that disgusting, sweaty, lardy arsed tub of shit to get a green card. He goes on and on about her in his posts when nobody really gives a shit but he is so chuffed that he's managed to get some minge and off his mommy's titties that he thinks the whole world should know. Well we don't need to know you hideous, copper-topped shithead. Fuck off.

I am well aware of the fact that we have a link to his site on here but that is purely to get up to date movie news. It is not so that you can go and read his clearly biased reviews. There are other writers on AICN that I genuinely respect but I always give Goodyear a wide bearth.

I mean, I maybe a geek but at least I'm not an odious, soul-selling, gateau-shovelling, exploitative, smelly, cynically-minded, kentucky fried chicken eating GINGER MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

If you are still not convinced of his supreme cuntiness, below is an actual screen capture of part of his review of The Phantom Menace he wrote one year after originally seeing it.