Happy Birthday Lindsay Lohan!

Yep, Lindsay is 21 today. What a total waste of fucking space she is. She is, in no uncertain terms, a selfish, unappreciative, skanky cunt. I bet Disney stay as far away as possible from her now. I hear that she filmed all of ‘Herbie: Fully Loaded’ with a dildo filled with cocaine up her arse. She has been blessed with an acting career and yet she still acts like Paris Hilton with rabies. She has been bollocked for not turning up to film sets on time because of her partying, she is in the process of being done for driving under the influence of cocaine and alcohol but worst of all..she went out with CALUM FUCKING BEST. There’s another waste of oxygen that needs to be shot into the Sun as soon as fucking possible. Only a chip-shop cunt like Lindsay Lohan would go out with a Grade-A wanker like Calum Best. Prick. Anyway, Happy Birthday Lindsay. Don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do tonight like flashing your naked, shaved mimsy to every photographer in Los Angeles. SLAG!



EDIT: Below is an extract from a genuine email that I recieved today from DasGeordie upon telling him that I was going to wish Lindsay Happy Birthday. He needs help.

"I know it's wrong, but I would do unspeakable things to Lindsay Lohan. She is not just a double-bagger, she's a triple-bagger. I'd probably have to get some sort of kryptonite-laced condom to even think about it. Maybe just up the gary? She'd love that, the dirty bitch. MISOGYNIST! I'm already starting to feel the weekly boredom rush. I need a hobby/girlfriend."