A Love Letter From Michael Bay
You are beautiful, like shining metal bugs hovering over my pollen of love. How I love thee, the humble helicopter.
Words cannot describe how often I think of thee. Whether I'm ordering a bagel and cappucino or directing a cunt with a stupid name to run away from an imaginary metal robot on set or just merely having a quick Jodrell Bank in between takes... I am always thinking of your lovely rotors and divine tail and what I would secretly love to do to you if it wasn't illegal in most States.
Sometimes I think nothing else matters. That I should stop it all - stop directing films and making all that money and having all that hot sex with lots of hot women... I should stop it all and devote myself completely to you. Live inside your spacious passenger compartment, read you bedtime stories like a doting father and then make sweet, sweet love to your fuel tank. But no, that way leads madness. And it is only you, the humble helicopter, who makes me this mad. In love.
Some say I love you too much, that maybe I could spare a thought for characterisation in my movies... But they are wrong. You are my all. Helicopters. Just typing it gives me a twitch. In my expensive designer pants. They want me to remake WATERSHIP DOWN next, but I can't do it. After all, where would I put the helicopters?
Yours lovingly,
Michael "Chopper" Bay
xxx
Words cannot describe how often I think of thee. Whether I'm ordering a bagel and cappucino or directing a cunt with a stupid name to run away from an imaginary metal robot on set or just merely having a quick Jodrell Bank in between takes... I am always thinking of your lovely rotors and divine tail and what I would secretly love to do to you if it wasn't illegal in most States.
Sometimes I think nothing else matters. That I should stop it all - stop directing films and making all that money and having all that hot sex with lots of hot women... I should stop it all and devote myself completely to you. Live inside your spacious passenger compartment, read you bedtime stories like a doting father and then make sweet, sweet love to your fuel tank. But no, that way leads madness. And it is only you, the humble helicopter, who makes me this mad. In love.
Some say I love you too much, that maybe I could spare a thought for characterisation in my movies... But they are wrong. You are my all. Helicopters. Just typing it gives me a twitch. In my expensive designer pants. They want me to remake WATERSHIP DOWN next, but I can't do it. After all, where would I put the helicopters?
Yours lovingly,
Michael "Chopper" Bay
xxx
Labels: Michael Bay, Utter Bullshit
|
<< Home