Mystic Review Pizza: Psychic Pasty Is A Cahnt!

Nah, do I ‘ave the facking hump or do I ‘ave the facking hump. The two shit-stabbers that run this wank site are always asking me to do ‘em farkin’ favours and that. “look into the farkin’ future and review this” and “look into the faarrrrrkin future and review that”. I always relent because despite the cahnts being complete facking melts, I sorta like ‘em. But, just the uvver day, this proper pony site who call ‘emselves Stupid Fucking Customers had the fackin’ audacity to challenge my fackin’ future seeing abilities by bringing on board some cahnt called PSYCHIC PASTY. What the farrrrkin’ ‘ell is that all abaht mush eh? Stupid fackin’ cahnts more like. In case those cahnts ain't noticed, I’m a farrrrrrrrrkin rock 'ard naughty cockney with minerals the size of 'ampton fackin' court. I eat farrrrrkin pasties for breakfast mush. Not ahnly that, the cahnts wot write that shitty blog are obviously devoid of fackin’ ideas. Nah, I wanna make this plain and fackin’ clear right. Any cahnt that wants to go toe-to-fackin’-toe with yer old mucker Mystic is more than farrrrrkin’ welcome, because ya know wot? I know people mate. Fackin’ people that will kick ten shades of shit aht of any cahnt that tries to get tasty with me. Know wot I mean? If the cahnts want a fackin’ war the farrrrrrkin cahnts will get a farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkin war. Melts!


Nah that’s off me chest, I ‘ave to go and look waaaayyyyyyyyyy into the farkin’ future and review TERMINATOR 4 for the plebs that run this site. I ‘ave a feeling that TERMINATO.........hold on mush......."Oi, Barbara! I’m not being funny, but if you don’t stop that fackin’ dog barkin’ I’m gonna come in there and show you the tasty side of my fist...........No,no,no Barb. Stop and listen to me, I'm fackin' workin' ere so let me make this crystal farkin’ clear. SHUT THAT FACKIN’ DOG UP OR I WILL COME IN THE FARKIN' KITCHEN AND FACKIN’ SHUT YOU UP!

Sorry abaht that. Fackin’ women and all that. Anyway, like I said, Psychic Pasty can come at me with all he’s got but I ‘m pretty sure the cahnt comes from Cornwall in which case he’ll be a complete fackin’ fudge packer. Get facked!

Pasties? I shit ‘em

Kazzam!

P.S. TERMINATOR 4 was fackin' shit!