There Is A God.
I read something that really cheered me up today. Apparently, my bezzie mate and fine actor Orlando Bloom has had enough of making movies. Thats right sports fans, according to an interview he gave with MSNBC he wants to try something else other than earning fucking millions starring in some of the biggest films ever made whilst simultaneously getting sucked off by gangs of pre-teen airheads. I guess you have to feel for him. It must be hard work impersonating teak. What exactly does he want to venture into? The theatre. God have mercy on the West End. Here is a direct quote from the interview regarding his chosen profession.
“When I realized that if I was an actor, I could be any character I wanted instead of just one particular, I was like, ‘Wow, that’s cool,” he said.
Cunt.
I don't ever remember Pacino or Brando saying something as stupifyingly wank as that but of course therein lies the problem with this coma-inducingly dull twat. He seems to be the only person on the face of the planet that thinks he can act. Now, being bad in films is one thing but he defo won't get away with it on the boards. He'll get ripped to fucking shreds. Even with slick editing and visual effects the cunt manages to fill the screen with the cinematic equivelant of celery but he'll have no such trickery in the West End. But, good luck to him. You see, I hate theatre and therefore won't have to put up with seeing the dullard's gay fucking face for a while. Thanks Orlie. Much appreciated.
Jerry Bruckheimer was also interviewed and he had this to say which I found so offensive I immediately went to the nearest pet shop to buy a cat just so that I could kick it. Real hard.
“He could be this generation’s Errol Flynn. No doubt in my mind,” Bruckheimer said. “He’s handsome, he’s debonair, he’s a good actor, he’s got a great smile. He’s smart. It’s all about choices, if actors make the right choices. He’s got the talent, so it comes down to what he picks and the directors and people he works with.”
Jerry. You. Are. A. Massive. Cunt.
How fucking deluded can you possibly be? I'm still laughing actually.
“When I realized that if I was an actor, I could be any character I wanted instead of just one particular, I was like, ‘Wow, that’s cool,” he said.
Cunt.
I don't ever remember Pacino or Brando saying something as stupifyingly wank as that but of course therein lies the problem with this coma-inducingly dull twat. He seems to be the only person on the face of the planet that thinks he can act. Now, being bad in films is one thing but he defo won't get away with it on the boards. He'll get ripped to fucking shreds. Even with slick editing and visual effects the cunt manages to fill the screen with the cinematic equivelant of celery but he'll have no such trickery in the West End. But, good luck to him. You see, I hate theatre and therefore won't have to put up with seeing the dullard's gay fucking face for a while. Thanks Orlie. Much appreciated.
Jerry Bruckheimer was also interviewed and he had this to say which I found so offensive I immediately went to the nearest pet shop to buy a cat just so that I could kick it. Real hard.
“He could be this generation’s Errol Flynn. No doubt in my mind,” Bruckheimer said. “He’s handsome, he’s debonair, he’s a good actor, he’s got a great smile. He’s smart. It’s all about choices, if actors make the right choices. He’s got the talent, so it comes down to what he picks and the directors and people he works with.”
Jerry. You. Are. A. Massive. Cunt.
How fucking deluded can you possibly be? I'm still laughing actually.
Labels: Cunt, Orlando Bloom
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